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And the debate rages on..

I guess its the same for everyone with a baby. Who does he or she look like? And the answer is always the same. From my side of the family for example "Oh Kadin looks just like you.", and from Hasan's "Kadin is just like Hasan when he was a baby." The debate rages on and we continue to compare pictures.

I'l post mine another day.

Whatcha think?

NOTE: Please keep in mind that Hasan is like 2 years old here.

Funny, but I have poo on my neck

Yes indeed, poo on my neck.

So just before Kadin's bedtime he drops a giant log (well, relatively speaking) in his diaper. I took him into the bedroom for his final diaper change, but wasn't quite prepared for what happened next.

See, Kadin had a good helping of strained prunes earlier. Follow me? So, after peeling his diaper off he had quite the horrible mess waiting for me to clean.

Of course, 0.0002325 seconds after his diaper goes off, Kadin shoves his hands into his poopy diaper.

I went to grab the soiled hand before he touched his face or anything, so then he slaps his hand onto my neck. In case I wasn't clear, my son wiped his poo on my neck.

Now it's quite the struggle, as he's arching his back trying to grab the tub of vasoline and put it in his mouth. I am forced to use my left hand to hold his poopy hand and both legs and stop him from leaping off the mat before he smears poo all over Tonia's side of the bed (seems I always change poop covered Kadin on her side...but it's only because SHE conveniently leaves all the changing supplies there, honest!), while my right hand desperately tries to open the wipes container and also hunt for a diaper.

Eventually the diaper is changed, the poo is cleaned (from both father and son), and poopy diaper is disposed of.

He's soundly asleep now though...so I'm going to go to bed. And by bed, I mean I'll watch reruns of Star Trek until Tonia kicks the TV out the window.

Doesn't work all the time & New Pictures

So Kadin has been doing well with his sleep...except for last night. I think we thought we would jinx it - or at least *I* thought - so we havent really mentioned it. But anyways regularly now he goes down around 8 pm and sleeps till 5:30 or 6 am. I know that sounds early and it is, but like I told Hasan its better then him getting up 3 times a night and sleeping in our bed every night. We are grateful.

Kadin does not wake up at night...well occasionally he does but only for a minute or two and then back to sleep. Last night that was not the case. He woke at 12:30 and cried for 15 minutes before going back to sleep. He woke at 2am and cried for maybe 10 minutes and then he woke at 4 am and cried until I couldnt take it anymore and went out and got him. I rocked him for maybe 5 minutes and then put him in our bed. He had ben crying for about 20 minutes. *sigh* Lets hope it was just a bad night. Afterall he did sleep more then usual yesterday.

As well there are lots of new pics in the gallery so have a look. You won't need a pw and uid for it now that the whole site is protected. Enjoy!!

Updates and evil things

Well if you are reading this then you have already emailed us to get the user id and password for Kadin's site. Seems some bastards (sorry) decided to target our site with listings for porn sites. It has happened in the past but only a few times. Yesterday was a diff story. We received over 200 comments, which by the way have to be deleted one by one, on the site from spammers promoting their filth on my child's website. F@!kers. So sorry but everyone will need to email us for the info.

Onto other, more happy topics. Today we went to the beach. Hasan took Kadin into the water in his little swimmers and he adored it!! He was laughing and squealing. Having an awesome time. He was crawling all over the grass and even walking. Such a trooper. He then slept from the time we left the beach to the time we got home. More then 2 hours. That's what the outdoors can do for a kid! :)

Oh and next week mommy is getting a new tattoo....hopefully. Any suggestions on where I should go?

Squishy and other bits

First of all it isnt about the ring its about what it symbolizes. By the way there will be more pictures later. ;)

Now onto other things...Kadin.

His sleep pattern has gotten a lot better. He goes down around 8 at night. Sometimes, but rarely, he will cry a little when we put him in his crib. As well sometimes, but rarely, he will cry sometime at night but VERY briefly. And he usually stays in bed until around 6 am.

This long stretch of Kadin sleeping never ceases to amaze Hasan and I, who have lacked any real type of alone time in ages.

As well Kadin is walking a lot more now. He lets go of anything holding him back. Once he is on his feet he tries really hard to stay that way for a long time. Very brave and independent isnt it? The other night I tried to take and hold his hand and he basically shooed me away. I just stopped crying. heh

Kadin's nanny and poppy have been missing him a lot lately and I have been desperately trying to find a seat sale so his nanny can come for a visit. It hasnt been going well.

Now I have it in my head that I want to actually go home for awhile. That way everyone can see Kadin and all the growing he has been doing. But alas $$ is an issue and unless I can get a ticket for like $400 or so return, we may all have to wait till Xmas.

Hey did you know that planning a wedding is really scary even when its maybe 1.5 to 2 years away? So many people to make happy...and no I aint talking about Hasan and I. :)

Anyways did I mention Kadin at the ripe ole' age of 10 months has learned to pick his nose? I blame Hasan. Trust me..its his fault.

I have no free will, and just sold off the last of it..

So just by fluke chance I decided to spend 20 minutes with my head jammed between the wall and the back of the computer to try and connect the camcorder (it has limited picture-taking abilities). This of course had nothing to do with the fact that Tonia has a new ring.

So since we're all about fluke events and randomness, I decided (a completely independant decision, I'll have you know) to take a picture of the ring and post it here.

As surprised as Tonia is by this completely independant and not at all coerced posting, I'm sure she'll be very very happy. Not that I would know of course, since it was a complete surprise.

Difficult

What's difficult you might ask? Sitting with Kadin at 5 am, trying to rock him back to sleep when all he can do is scream and cry because his Abu isnt in the room. It's been a tough few days.

New pictures are up though. May 21 - July 13. Have a look and enjoy!!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

So let's do the good first. Well the awesomely, fantastic, wonderful news....HASAN AND I GOT ENGAGED!!! He asked me yesterday and after doing the "ugly" cry for way too long and struggling to see my ring (pictures to come. You just wait!!) I said YES! :)

And now the bad...

Kadin has been a nightmare for the last 12 hours or more. We went on a trip to Bowen Island yesterday. He was awesome the whole time, loved the trip, charmed the ladies, napped relatively normally, ate well and then we got home.

He has been weening (for those of you who dont know its that piercing sound that isnt crying but annoying enough to get you to do whatever he wants) since.

We have done eveything to make him happy but his main problem is his obsession with Hasan right now. His Abu cant leave the room at all without bringing on crazy crying. The bye-bye thing isnt working so well right now.

And best of all, Kadin stayed awake last night until 1 am!!! No real good reason. He didnt sleep too much during the day and was even outside for most of the day. But just would not go down.

Now ok I have to be honest we did make some mistakes. When going down the first time last night around 8:50 Kadin began crying even before he hit the crib mattress. We took him out of the room for that reason. The second time he went down, Hasan and I realized he had soiled his diaper minutes before and we forgot to change it. By soil I mean shit.

The third time he cried for 30 minutes. Now I know we shouldnt have went in and got him but it was the hardest, most disturbing crying we have heard in a long time. We couldnt take it anymore. Then Kadin stayed up.

Hmmmm I wonder what the wonderful night ahead holds.

Did I mention I got enagaged? I'm a fiance. I have a fiance. ??I have to plan a wedding?????

Not to jinx it...

...but last night Kadin went to sleep at 9:15. It was the first time in over a week that he didn't wake up minutes later to cry for approx. 30 minutes.

He slept till 6:15 am without waking!!! He woke smiling and giggling and happy. Unfortunately he was not going back tp sleep. Mommy so tired.....

High 5's all around

So yesterday we went to America! heh Did some shopping, eating...snuck Hanes underwear across the border and called it a day.

The point however of this post is to tell you about our night. Kadin was unhappy come 7 so we decided to start his sleep process a little bit earlier. Bath. Cereal. Bottle. About 9:30 he went to sleep and went down in his crib ok. 10 mins later he woke crying and cried for about 20 mins. Remember we arent ferbering him but we are insisting he stays in his crib once down.

Thing is about him crying is that it sucks to listen to. I mean it has always been hard but its much different and harder now then when he was like 3 or 4 months. Now he can jump up and down in his bed, cry out mom-mom, throw himself around the bed, stop and listen when you walk around and then cry even harder when he realizes you arent walking to his room. As opposed to 2 or 3 months when he couldn't move or make any distinguishing sounds. But he has to sleep in his crib. On this we will be strong.

At 5:11 am (keeping in mind that Kadin usually wakes around 1 am or so and we fight to get him back to sleep and keep him out of our bed) I woke up and immediately sent Hasan to Kadin's room to make sure all was ok. AND IT WAS!! We high 5'ed and we back to sleep till 5:50 when Kadin woke and we gladly took him to bed with us. He then slept till 8am! WOOOOHOOOO!!!! Success. Now lets see if it can continue.

Now onto the Butterfly Effect. Hard. Very hard. If your weak of mind, heart or stomach...skip it. But trust me when I tell you it is a very good movie. Extremely well shot and well acted.

Special Times

Yesterday Kadin was 10 months old. I have been planning his first birthday over the last few weeks. My god.....remember when?

So it appears Kadin has Seperation Anxiety when it comes to his abu. Once Hasan is home Kadin has a real hard time letting him be out of his view. Its sorta frustrating but more heartbreaking. If Hasan leaves to take out the dogs we have to distract Kadin. Kadin cries most when Hasan tries to put him down in his crib. At night if Hasan gives Kadin to me ( by "at night" I mean 2 am or so) Kadin cries hysterically. I can calm him but I think it hurts us to see him seem so scared.

We have looked this up on the ole internet and it says that basically its like Kadin thinks Hasan disappears. He doesn't understand that his abu will come back when he leaves. Sort of a result of Hasan not always being here the way mommy is. Abu isn't here during the day so Kadin thinks that when he can't see him or when Hasan goes from view that he has disappeared. Strange eh? But I'm sure like everything else we will figure out a way to deal.

My god in two months my baby will be one year old. *sob* It goes by SO fast. Exactly like everyone told me it would. Probably the only accurate piece of advice I got before having him. hehe

From this to this. Unreal.

Update on sleep...

or lack thereof. I don't know what day it was when we wrote last but I will update you on the days I remember.

Tuesday: Kadin was in bed at 9:30. Woke up at 10:30 stayed up till 11:30. Slept till 12:30 and then came to bed with mommy and abu. Woke at 1:30 and then again at 3:30 at which point he stayed awake till 4:30. Mommy very tired yesterday.

Wednesday: Kadin was in bed at 9. Got up right away and stayed up till 10:30. Slept till 12:30 let him cry himself back to sleep. Up at 3:30 and to bed with mommy and abu.

As some side notes Kadin hates his crib now and when we put him down he ALWAYS wakes up right away crying. So although we aren't Ferbering him (see below) we do let him cry himself back to sleep. The first night took 24 minutes, last night only 10. Maybe its progress. Who the hell knows.

His naps have been reduced to two during the day the last one ending around 4 pm. They are only about an hour or so each. This however does lead to some tense moments during the evening when we are trying to bath him and fed him his cereal. By tense I mean Kadin generally cries his way through the entire thing. We feel this is to be expected though for a bit cause we changed his schedule so drastically.

Ok so its mommy's tea time. I think some people are having trouble accessing the site. Hasan is looking into it and we shall see how quickly we can get it resolved.

And so it continues...

At about 11 or so we put him in his crib and there he stayed. Much to our surprise. One hour later he woke and we put him in bed with us. It is there, that ALL of us slept all through the night. As a matter of fact its 8:30 am and mommy is here writing this, abu has gone to work and Kadin is still asleep.

He can do it till he's 12 as long as I don't have to listen to those cries again.

...

I just need to add extra emphasis to the fact that Tonia and I spent one solid hour listening to Kadin cry, scream and sob while we sat staring at the walls.

Hearing your child cry like that makes for a very, very bad day.

And due to his newly-formed crib hate, he's spent the last hour going from a dead sleep to crying at the top of his lungs within 0.000000242 seconds of being placed in his crib.

Good times!

Not gonna do it.

Ok so Kadin slept till 7 am. Amazing. All night he slept. WOW! We thought "This just might work."

Then today happened.

8:30 am Kadin appears very tired. OK, well we decide this must be his morning nap..altho somewhat early. We shall do the method. One hour later, after a solid hour of crying non-stop, we take him out of the bed to go downtown. Oh did I mention I quit my job? Kadin instantly falls asleep in his car seat.

We get back from DT and head to Liquidation World - where Mommy snagged an awesome puppy lamp for Kadin - and then home for Kadin's lunch.

He would eat next to nothing and was extremely cranky. Next we do laundry. Hasan and Kadin go to return mommy's awesome puppy lamp which turned out to have no mouth and mommy starts laundry. Did I mention we go to the laundrymat for this?

When Hasan and Kadin return, seems Kadin once again went to sleep in his car seat but only for a moment. He had to come in the laundry with mommy and Abu.

When we get home from the grocery store after the laundry - still following? - Kadin is yet again asleep in the car seat. We gently bring him in and lay him in his crib. The crying begins and continues for one hour. Now its supper time.

Kadin eats nothing - well next to nothing and is only calmed by his after supper bottle.

He hangs out with us and plays. Then its our turn to eat. Kadin falls asleep in his bouncer toy while standing. YES STANDING!! We cave and put him in his playpen to sleep. At 7:44 pm we wake him for his bath. He cries the whole way through it. Very unusual. Cries while getting dressed. While being diapered. While being talked to. *sigh*

He won't eat so we decide its bedtime and give him his bottle. When its gone Kadin decides the wants to play.

Fu.....dag nabbit I mean....I had to say thats enough.

He hasnt really eaten in two days. He can't speak because his throat is torn from crying. He hasnt had NEAR enough sleep and NOw he can't be left alone!!!

This Ferber guy may be right but my heart can't take it. I understand the goal is for Kadin to be getting at least 15 hours of sleep out of 24. Well I will find some other way to do it! I swear. No evening nap and earlier nights. Something...anything...rather then listen to my sweet little guy cry until he is doing the gasping cry and then coughing and gagging cause he can't get control of it. FORGET IT! The doc even says that some kids throw up and not to be alarmed or feel guilty...its just natural. My god are you mad?

Not gonna do it. I don't care if *I* ever sleep. I will not listen to those sounds anymore. He is our child and together we will find a way for him to get all his sleep without him having to wonder why mommy and abu are treating him that way.

And now to top it all off Kadin won't even stay in his fuc....damn crib. *SIGH*

Don't get me wrong. Next kid, at 3 months, I will do as Dr. Ferber says but this time we waited too long. We made a mistake. I believe Kadin is too old to go through this. And I won't do it to him. He will not suffer because of our laziness, our bad decision making or our lack of experience. Not gonna do it.

All for a night's sleep..

So I'm not sure whether everyone is aware of Kadin's evening schedule. Here it is:

4-5 PM. Kadin will have his supper sometime within this hour timeframe. Occassionally it's a bit later due to a later than usual afternoon nap, but most times it's bang on. Generally he'll take a short nap after supper as well for roughly 30 minutes. There have been times when it has been longer (up to 2 hours), though that's usually due to an insufficient afternoon nap.

We'll give him a snack at roughly 7:30 or so, then it's bath time at 9 PM. Around 9:20 or so he gets some cereal, and about 10 PM gets his last bottle for the evening. The next hour is spent with Tonia and projecting mental images of sleep, hoping against hope that he'll get sleepy and want to go down.

Since that never works, we watch him like a pair of hawks for any sign of sleepyness. When it has been sighted, the tv gets switched to a music channel, Kadin gets picked up and the rocking/singing starts and doesn't stop until we have a sleeping baby.

So he'll go into his crib, asleep, by 11:15. He then wakes up crying a few hours later, generally due to gas. One of us gets up with him to hopefully rock him back to sleep. If just gas, he can generally fall back asleep within a few minutes. If he gets worked up enough though, a watered-down formula bottle is all that will settle him.

Regardless of how we get him to go back to sleep, he gets up again sometime between 4-6 AM. Once the urge to sob has subsided (that's for Tonia and I), we repeat the steps taken last time. If it comes down to a bottle, we'll generally give him a few ounces of full strength formula. That will normally get him back to sleep for another few hours.

I personally get 6.5 hours between crawling into bed and my alarm going off. That's not 6.5 hours of sleep mind you, just 6.5 hours between those two times. Since it's very easy for me to fall quickly into a deep sleep, I still manage to get 5.5 - 6 hours of sleep a night.

Tonia unfortunately isn't so lucky, as it generally takes her much longer than me to fall asleep, and she's a fairly light sleeper as well.

We're both well aware that this type of sleep schedule is rather insane, but once you get a schedule down with your baby, any schedule, it's tough to break from it.

After a few failed attempts, we once again tried the Ferber Method of solving Kadin's sleep problems. So tonight at 10:30 I put Kadin (a very, very wide awake Kadin) down in his crib, kissed him goodnight, and walked out.

12 seconds later we heard him start to fuss, then break down crying. We had agreed to wait 3 minutes before going back into the room, and with great difficulty waited. When I went back in I gave him hugs and kisses but did not pick him up. 2 minutes later I left the room again, and heard him start to cry before I sat down on the couch.

Over the next 6 minutes his cries turned to sobs, and a heart-breaking hiccuping cry. I again went into the room to console him, and once again had to tear myself away after two minutes.

The next 9 minutes started off just as painful as before, but after about 5 minutes he was going quiet for a few minutes at a time. By the time 9 minutes rolled around, he wasn't making any sounds.

We quickly checked in on him about 10 minutes later to find him asleep at the opposite end of the crib, laying at an odd angle. Asleep though, and all on his own!

It has now been just shy of an hour, so this is officially our first small victory. If he wakes up crying anytime tonight, I have to wait 9 minutes before checking on him, and repeat that process until he goes back to sleep or it's time to start the day anyways.

Updates to follow, but wish us luck!

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!

....to all our friends and family in Newfoundland, Ottawa, all over Canada and abroad have an amazing day and CANADA ROCKS!!!!

love,

Tonia, Hasan and Kadin
xxxoo